So, this week’s Man Crush Monday, or as you young people like to say, #MCM, is the author of “On the Motion of the Heart and Blood in animals”, physician, lecturer, and the sexy beast we like to call Harvey, William Harvey.
Now, I know what you are thinking, you’re thinking that I’m choosing Harvey simply because he discovered circulation in the heart. Well, that is reason enough, but let’s be honest, that was gonna happen anyway. I mean really, how long were we gonna pretend that the Galenic model of anatomy made any sense? Eventually someone was gonna figure it out. Now, don’t get me wrong, the fact that he did it when he did, that he published his findings and answered his challengers and blah blah blah, was amazing, and helped advance modern medicine. I’m just saying that there was so much more to him, in addition to being one of the smartest dudes around he was also a lecturer and held prestigious positions with weird titles that kind of sound made up like “Physician extraordinary” and “doctor of psychic”. You gotta be more than just an old egg head to be my #MCM.
Harvey was small with a round face and lively dark eyes with dark curly hair, loved literature, was an avid birdwatcher and loved a good strong cup of coffee. He enjoyed contemplating in dark caves, which is a bit odd but we’ve all got to have something to relax us after a long stressful day of discovery. Some people like yoga, personally, I like a long hot shower but Harvey liked cold dark caves, who are we to judge. There probably weren’t many yoga studios or hot sowers around in those days.
Besides hanging around in dark caves, he was a world traveler, well as much as you could be in those days. He traveled with Dukes and Kings so you know he wasn’t renting rooms in hostels and dining on continental breakfasts in dank hotel lobbys, oh no, as a matter of rumor he may have met Galileo at a Jesuit diner party. So much culture, I didn’t even know Jesuits had dinner parties. And apparently he really liked to indulge at all those Jesuit parties that he got invited to because he suffered from the gout for much of his life, ouch.
During the English Civil War, he proved his loyalty to the king and showed valor in the face of harassment from citizen-soldiers by treating wounded English soldiers and protecting the king’s children from those citizen soldiers.
Did I mention, he was a freaking witch hunter, well actually he was more like an anti-witch hunter. As a man of science, he found it easy to debunk witch claims, so he used his powers to save women accused of performing the dark arts. One report claims that he went to an accused woman’s home and told her that he was a wizard, there to talk about the craft. He challenged her witchiness, so she summoned a toad to prove she was a witch… or to show she was a toad whisperer? Anyhow, Wizard Harvey was parched from watching all that magic, so he sent that crazy witch down to the 7/11 for some 40’s of Olde English. While she was gone he decided to get to the bottom of this toad business the only way he knew how, by cutting it open. She was, justifiably, mad as a witch on a splintery broomstick when she came back to discover Harvey knuckle deep in her toad. He then revealed his true identity and his discovery that the toad was not magical and that she was a fraud. Then they sang an entertaining musical interlude… I don’t think that last part is true, but I certainly wish it were.
So, there you have it, William Harvey, defender of the innocent, world traveler, nature lover, anti-witch hunter and by all counts a sexy piece of man meat!